7.01.2011

recycled :: oh the half has never yet been toe-d

This post is recycled from an old blog which I no longer maintain.

Please hold to a minimum any and all comments pertaining to the freakish nature of my toes and/or the fact that I could, if I wanted to, swing from or climb trees. It hurts my feelings.


This was the highlight of my day today.

And when I say highlight, I mean the thing that happened which most made me want to commit some illegal action requiring time served in a penal establishment.

It all started with the trash can. Or, no... wait. It all started with the amount of trash in the trash can. But my family's excessive-trash disorder is another post altogether.

So, the first problem was too much trash in one bag. The second problem was the el cheapo con economisto a la carte trash bags which create an UNREAL, I mean like space capsule to shuttle level suction, amount of suction with the sides of the trash can.

Does NASA use suction to hold those two things together? Are capsule and shuttle even the right words? I have no idea. Space lingo isn't really my thing.

Anyway, after breaking a sweat and attempting to create some amount of leverage with my knee, I went back to a very delicate strategy which I've formulated after many years of research.

I pulled it really, really hard.

Long story short, I pulled, the bag might have budged a little, the trash can came up with it, I got mad and slammed it back down.

...


...and this is what I got.


It hurts. But I'll be ok. I only considered calling ye olde hubby and telling him off for 5, maybe 10, minutes. Not that it was his fault. Verbal violence just seemed to be a better option.

It's fortunate for the UPS guy that he didn't stop by until later.

I fixed my toe, by the way.


It feels much happier now. Thanks for asking.